Some schools are already back in session for a new year, and the rest of us will be there soon! With the reality of a new school year inching closer each day, our kiddos are probably already contemplating the transition. For some of our children, the thought of entering a new grade is exciting. Other kids might be (how should we put this?) less than thrilled. Maybe your little one falls into a third category: scared. While a little anxiety over a new school year is normal, some kids have an inordinate amount of fear. How can parents help their anxious child cope with this inevitable transition? Red Apple Reading has a few suggestions for parents of anxious students.
Talk
Most likely you already know if your little one is anxious about the upcoming school year. As parents, we are familiar with our kid’s dispositions and can usually discern when something is wrong. If you get the sense that your kiddo is experiencing a high level of stress about the new school season, address it with him immediately. It is tempting to ignore or put off unpleasant conversations with our children; but it is usually wiser to address the problem early and often. Ask your child about his feelings regarding entering a new grade. Be curious and willing to gently “dig” a little bit. Sometimes our kids are reluctant to discuss their fears and need encouragement to open up. You may find that your child has an unfounded fear that you can quickly put to rest. For instance, near the end of one school year, my little one thought he wasn’t going to get promoted to the next grade. This was an irrational fear and a result of not understanding how grade promotion worked. I quickly explained the situation to him and his anxiety was relieved. Even if your child’s fear is not unfounded, the process of talking itself can lessen your little one’s anxiety. A listening ear and a little reassurance can go a long way!
Visit
Sometimes anxiety comes from a fear of the unknown. Many kids become stressed and anxious when they do not know exactly what to expect. Because some school employees work twelve months of the year, your school is most likely open during the majority of summer. If this is your little one’s first year at a new school, a school tour might be a good idea. Call or visit the school office and see if there is a good day to bring your kiddo in for an extensive tour. Knowledge is power; and being familiar with her surroundings will give your child a sense of control. If your kiddo is nervous about having a new teacher, see if you can arrange a personal visit with his teacher. Most teachers are at the school on and off during the summer months getting ready for the upcoming year. Call your school office and ask if you can arrange to bring your child in for half an hour to meet and talk to his teacher. Most teachers are happy to make this accommodation for anxious students.
Plan
After you have done all you can possibly do prior to the situation, come up with a “game plan” for the first day of school. Remember, you want your child to feel some amount of control over his circumstances. While there are many aspects of the school day that are out of his power, your child can learn to control how he responds to uncomfortable situations. A good intervention for helping anxious students cope with fear and stress is to prepare a “self-talk” script. In other words, you want to give your kiddo some phrases to repeat to herself when she becomes anxious. For instance, you could give your child a few “go-to” phrases like, “I can do this.”, “It’s going to be alright.”, “School is a safe place for me.”, etc. Then role play potential scenarios with your little one so she can practice her self calming skills. Another good skill for your child to practice is deep breathing. You can remind him to take deep, slow breaths whenever he begins to feel anxious, thus helping him gain control over his emotions.
There is perhaps nothing more heartbreaking for parents than to see their little one struggle with fear. Most of the time school fears work themselves out as your child becomes more familiar with her school routine. However, if you feel like your son or daughter is still not coping well with the academic portion of their day, consult the school counselor or another mental health professional in your community. School need not be a scary experience for your little one. With the right skills and a little help from mom and dad, your student can confidently face the new school year!
